And the Mother of the Year Award Goes To...

...not me.

Connor just wrapped up his second full week of kindergarten. He loves it.

His teacher probably does not love it so much.

Without going into too much detail, let me just say that my son is one of a few young men in his class who now has a daily behavior chart sent home that must be signed by a parent. The chart has a smiley face, and indifferent face (for okay days) and a frowny face for each day of the week, plus a spot where the teacher can write the litany of infractions my child committed that day.

Monday was a smiley face. Tuesday was an okay face. Wednesday and Thursday? Well, those two days made Mommy want to cry. A lot. Suffice it to say that there was supposed to be a family trip to the zoo this weekend, but now that will be a Daddy and Riley trip to the zoo. Connor and Mommy will be staying home to clean house, "but that's okay, Mommy, because I like to clean." He did manage to end the week on a better note--an okay day.

Thursday night found me second guessing myself as a parent. Have I become too lax in the discipline department? Yes. How can I fix that now, especially in the whopping few hours I actually get see him each day? And to make matters worse, I had always thought of him as our "easy" child. If we're having this much trouble getting him to behave in school, I don't want to be around when Riley goes to kindergarten. Not enough prozac in the world...

I think what upsets me the most is not how his behavior reflects on our parenting skills. It's just that I love my little boy so much. He's so special and sweet, and I want the rest of the world to love him as much as I do (and I do realize that the rest of the world never will love my child the way I do, but you know what I mean). If he's acting this way, the rest of the world will never see what I see in him, and that makes me so sad. I know how teachers and other students perceive the "trouble makers" and I just don't want my kid to be lumped into that group, because that isn't where he belongs.

I do realize that part of the reason we have kindergarten is to teach them the skills they need to move on to first grade: the social skills that he apprantly hasn't figured out just yet (things like you can't play with toys while the teacher is teaching a lesson, and you can't puch a child because he won't play with you). Hopefully my child will get these things figured out very quickly. I'm not sure how many more frowny faces and how much more heartache I can take.

Although, I hear that parenting is full of heartache for the next several years. I'm not sure I'm prepared for that. Again, not enough prozac in the world.

Why didn't someone warn me?